Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
