I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
