My boss' voice literally gives me gas
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
