is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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