Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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