I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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