Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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