She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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