we're blogging at a bar
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
