I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
