Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize