just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
