I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
