Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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