my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
