new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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