There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
