dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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