its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize