You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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