4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize