why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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