jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
His nipple licking is glorious
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