I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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