the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
