wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
