I wannas sexs uuuuu
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Alive.
So much puke
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
