You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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