i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
