We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish life had little blips of pornography
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize