new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
