Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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