It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
