I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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