i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
