Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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