The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
