The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Randomize
