Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
