those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
