you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
