Dual....:-)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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