yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
