She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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