I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
