Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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