where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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