He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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