i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
