last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
