omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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