Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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