he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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