Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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