It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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