What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
