Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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