Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
