he was CRYING into my vagina
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
