Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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