oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
