You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
