I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
