he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
