weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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