Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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