he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
